Associate Bonnie Chester reflects on strengthening our faith by remembering the example of Doubting Thomas. “Blessed are they who have not seen and have believed.”

I’ve never been very good at delegating. According to my mother, one of my first sentences was “Do it myself!” I suppose I have a need to be “hands-on” or to “see with my own eyes.” Had I been there, I would likely have stood beside the Apostle Thomas, doubting the story the other apostles told him about the appearance of the resurrected Lord, Jesus. This account is found in only one Gospel—that of John.

Let’s stand with Thomas as we meditate on this scene.

“Unless I see the mark of the nails in His hands and put my fingers into His side, I will not believe.” (John 20:25b) Imagine hearing Thomas make this statement to his fellow apostles. Would you be so bold as to doubt your best friends, the ones with whom you had bonded, traveled, and eaten as you accompanied Jesus for three years? Would you doubt their testimony? Do you sometimes doubt a good friend who assures you everything will be okay when you’re anxious? I must confess I would want some reassurance—a positive outcome that I could see with my own eyes or feel in my heart.

The Lord always knows the thoughts in our hearts, so He must have known Thomas’s misgivings and recognized the need to appear once again to the apostles and Thomas. “Jesus came, although the doors were locked, and stood in their midst and said, ‘Peace be with you.’ Then he said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side. Do not be unbelieving but believe.’” (John 20:26b-27)

Touching and feeling something that has been returned after being lost is most assuredly “seeing for yourself,” isn’t it? Haven’t you said goodbye to a spouse, child, or friend who was going away to college, or perhaps to serve in the armed forces, or just for an extended period? There is absolutely nothing like that first warm embrace when they return.

I subscribe to the Little Books published by the Diocese of Saginaw, Michigan. In the Easter Sunday Gospel edition (The Little White Book), a contributor asks this question: Isn’t it curious that Thomas wanted to see the wounds of Jesus? Why didn’t just seeing Him or hearing His voice ease Thomas’s doubts? Let’s accompany Thomas in his thoughts.

Thomas himself had encouraged Jesus to go to Bethany, near Jerusalem, after the death of Lazarus. The Apostles warned Jesus: “Rabbi, the Jews were just trying to stone you, and you want to go back there?” (John 11:8) But Thomas said, “Let us also go to die with him.” Here, Thomas professed his willingness to die with Jesus. Don’t you think that statement weighed on Thomas? He had agreed to accompany Jesus in a very dangerous situation, and then what? He failed to live up to that statement.

Fast forward to John, Chapter 19 and the crucifixion. Where was Thomas? Was he present at the foot of the cross? No, he let the Lord down during His passion and crucifixion, and now he wanted forgiveness. If you were meeting someone for the first time after a bad experience, wouldn’t you need to talk about the problem before things could be right? Thomas heard from his fellow disciples that Jesus spoke of peace and forgiveness during His appearance. Thomas wanted that forgiveness and peace. If he felt that he had abandoned Jesus during His suffering, perhaps that’s why he wanted to touch the wounds while looking into the face of Jesus, asking for forgiveness. Picture yourself gazing into Jesus’ eyes, telling Him of your sorrow for causing Him grief.

What do you think the tone of Jesus’ voice was when He said to Thomas, “Do not be unbelieving, but believe”? I know it was one of forgiveness and kindness, the same that I feel when Jesus forgives my offenses. I am blessed to have the sacrament of Reconciliation and hear those very words from my confessor: “Your sins are forgiven.”

Just like Thomas, there will be days when I have doubts, days when I feel my faith is not strong enough. What I do with those doubts is the important thing.

Lord God, let me bring those doubts, like Thomas, to You. Let me “see” the wounds You suffered to bring redemption to me. I ask You to strengthen my faith and let me remember Your final words to Thomas. Perhaps You are telling me: “Blessed are those who have not seen but believed.”